Reflection: Looking Back

Alright. So a reflection post. I suppose that interspersed between my words will be all the photos that I couldn't quite use. Perhaps there'll be a few repeats, but we'll see.

Originally, when I first began the project, I was really excited. I thought I'd be able to create this really cool final project. Never did the thought of obstacles cross my mind, to be honest, because I believed in myself and my ability to finish. It was definitely a shock for me, realizing that I would not complete my project.

(Things didn't always go as planned.)

From what I've documented, I've spent 29.75 hours on this project, as well as $54.97.

Time Log

1. 1 hour (Working on the game plan, finding a mentor, and revising revising revising)
2. 1.5 hours (At Joann's, asking about supplies, choosing fabrics, and walking around aimlessly, unsure of what to do but too afraid to ask)
3. 2 hours (Practicing sewing by making straight seams down squares and a little pincushion)
4. 2 hours (Figuring out how to cut cloth, cutting most but not all of my squares)
5. 1.5 hours (Sewing the first strip, troubleshooting the sewing machine, and removing seams)
6. 45 min = 0.75 hour (Finishing up the cutting the fabric)
7. 2 hours (Lay out the fabric and revise the game plan with Mrs. Rushing)
8. 3 hours (Sewing strip 2, removing a whole bunch of seams, trying again and again)
9. 16ish hours (Blogging... 3 hours on my first post, 1.5 hours on my mentor, 20 minutes on fabric shopping, 3 hours on day 1 of sewing, 2 hours on my second update, 1 hour on my first post about my arm, 3.5 hours on my research post, 20 minutes on Fancy Stitches, a groggy half an hour on my second arm update, and 1.5 hours on my most recent post.)

13.75 hours + 16 hours =  29.75 hours

(Sewing a seam.)

Though it didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped. I think that I learned quite a bit. For starters, my time could have probably been better used before I was injured - had I started earlier, I might have finished. I did, however, pick up sewing skills. Most of the time now (so around 80% of the time), when I sew, I can do a perfectly straight seam, even if it happens to be skewed on the fabric. However, during my project, due to the weight of the material, the thread tended to bunch up and there wasn't much I could do.

I definitely regret a lot though. I can't quite put it into words, but it definitely feels like I've failed. My parents were right in that I can't finish anything I've started, and to be honest, I don't really want to tell them how badly I screwed up. I wish I had asked for help, but most of all, I wish that this (being my arm problem) never happened. I shouldn't be blaming it, but losing the use of my left arm definitely discouraged me. Although I did my best, sewing was just really difficult. I think that, if I had to do this again, I would definitely ask for help keeping the fabric steady, and allow myself to just keep going, instead of going back and trying to fix every single mistake I made.

The thing I thought was the most difficult was staying genuine and detailing EVERYTHING, including my numerous failures and the arm situation. It was really hard being honest and opening up, knowing that everyone in my class and the entire freaking world could read this blog. And if it's discovered in several years, then that unknown person knows too.

(Quilt pattern I had wanted to achieve.)

There was one day when Sasha and I got a bit bored, and began messing around a bit with the sewing machine. That day, we not only found that the sewing machine can do fancier stitches, but also discovered a little nub jutting off the side of the sewing machine, containing a small blade machine, intended to cut thread. Well, long story short, we found that the little blade also cuts hair.

(Cutting Sasha's hair)

Although I made a lot of mistakes, I'm glad that the people around me were able to laugh with me. It made messing up a lot easier on me, I think, and allowed me to not dwell on solely the mistakes. Being able to blog and type out my thoughts was also rather therapeutic, though the majority of the blog posts I typed never did make it online. Although I'm pleased with the way the blog turned out, I regret spending so much time blogging. It was definitely part of my project, but in a way, it wasn't.

(Lavender bias tape)

I also never got to use bias tape, but did end up researching it! Bias tape is simply a narrow strip of fabric whose fibers are cut on the bias, which is 45 degrees to the length of the strip (the opposite is on the grain, which is 90 degrees). The angle makes the fabric stretchier and less likely to fray. Bias tape is usually used for borders of quilts and comes in many colors, and I'm sad I never got to experiment with it.

Even though this project is essentially over for me, I think I'm going to try to finish the quilt over the summer. It was fun learning how to quilt and I think that I did learn a lot about sewing and fabric. I enjoyed being able to talk to Sasha and Mrs. Rushing as we went through the process, and there were a lot of funny and wonderful moments to balance out those that were frustrating.

(My two biggest supporters... excluding Tammy Lee of course ;) )

Besides, the important thing is that I kept all my fingers. :)

Sew Many Issues...

I worked for three hours today (two hours for the block schedule and one hour at lunch), and unfortunately did not get much done.

I hate complaining and don't want that to be the focus of this post, but I do want to mention that, even with a sewing machine, working with one arm is nearly impossible and this post reflects a lot of frustration. Also, because I had surgery just a few days ago, I'm not allowed to really use my arm that much. So sewing was a blast... *sarcasm*

(Before I got frustrated.)

Alright, so the first thing the sewing machine did was spit out sewing machine clouds for me. The entire time, I was like, "seriously?!" I thought that the sewing machine and I had a greater relationship than that! But nope, clouds galore.

(A little thread cloud.)

I needed to cut off the side of my fabric because I couldn't use a seam ripper with one hand. It was just a crazy mess. The scissors were difficult to use as well because I was trying to hold the scissors and cut with the same hand. It really just didn't work at all. Nope nope nope.

But then I finally got the seam sewn, with just a tiny thread cloud at the tip. So that was fine, I guess. As I kept going, however, it got harder. Because I was trying to use my good hand to press the backstitch button, the seam was crooked. As the strip got longer, and therefore heavier, the seams got more and more skewed. So while the strip got longer...

(Crooked and unfinished seams.)

The seams got more and more crooked.The fabric would shift so much that sometimes, I'd only be sewing on one layer, which was completely and utterly pointless. Although outwardly, I was trying to laugh it all off, but to be honest, it was just SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING. 

The crooked seams were just really annoying, which made me wonder if someone out there made sewing machines for lefties. (I realized later on that sewing machines technically favor lefties, though they don't really help out one-armed righties.) At this point, I just sort of wanted to give up and cry, but then I persevered on, hoping that better things would happen. Naturally, that didn't happen.

If spitting out way too much thread wasn't bad enough, my new enemy Sewing Machine decided to withhold thread. I think I sort of panicked - I didn't think I was thaaat bad at sewing to break a virtually unbreakable (Mrs. Rushing's words, not mine. :) ) machine! When I checked the machine, I realized that the sewing machine had completely unthreaded itself. The thing that sucked the most, however, was that the unthreading is something that's nearly impossible with only one working arm and hand. Fortunately, Sasha did threaded the machine for me. I'm glad that I didn't have to ask Mrs. Rushing for help on that one.

The sewing machine unthreaded itself not one, nor two, but SEVEN more times during the next two hours. Poor Sasha had to rethread the machine every single time.

(Thank the world for people like Sasha <3)

I spent three hours on the project today, and I only finished one strip. I spent the majority of the time ripping out seams, silently cursing myself out in my head, and trying to guide fabric through without losing my fingers. If you see the photo below, notice that my (right) hand has crossed over to try to keep the fabric in place. When I first began this project, Mrs. Rushing told me never to try to cross my hand over like that, as it'd be really easy for me to accidentally pass my hand under the needle... which, needless to say, would be bad. But well, here I am, being a rebel.

(Warning: Do not try this at home.)

I'm not going to finish my quilt and I think I've made my peace with that. I'm supposed to present on Thursday (but I have a doctor's appointment so I'll have to talk to Mr. Duvall about switching the day) so today was essentially my last day to work on my project.

(To add insult to injury, now I have to go over my pants and my arm sling with a lint roller. Yay.)

Another Update on the Arm

I had surgery yesterday on May 11th, 2016.

(Before surgery: The gown was like fifteen thousand sizes too big...)

The surgery turned out pretty well, I think. They removed a large osteochondroma (read: tumor) from my left humerus and performed a resection on a minor nerve.

(Closer "look" at the bandages.)

It turned out pretty well, I think. I was only under for a few hours and didn't even need to stay the night. I was able to get up today, and with a little help, I was able to get dressed and even drink some tea! I love tea.

(My sister did my hair and it looks really nice!)

I'll be back to school Monday and will try to sew some more. Since my arm stopped working, I really haven't done much of my project and I doubt I'll finish it. Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out later.